Melanie and Justin wed at La Rez!

When I arrived at La Rez for Justin and Melanie's wedding on February 28th, it was cold (48 degrees) and raining. But, we were dry and warm in the covered patio courtyard with the outdoor heaters. My husband, Dave, came with me and while I went over logistics with the wedding party, he set up my sound system which worked very well in allowing my voice to be heard over the sound of rain pattering on the fiberglass roof. I was so glad I had it.

It was a lovely wedding that all came together just fine despite the basketball traffic that caused some delay in the groom and groomsmen getting there. Justin was really spiffy in his spats! Melanie was a beautiful bride and beamed as she and her mother floated down the aisle hand in hand. Melanie handed off her bouquet to her mother who then stepped to my right to serve as her Matron of Honor. Justin's father served as his best man and his two brothers were groomsmen. Justin's mother was with us in spirit and a candle and photograph were placed in the chair she would have occupied as a memorial to her.

From my material Melanie and Justin put together a sweet and meaningful ceremony. Melanie's friend, McGee, read a poem. We also included the blessing of the hands ceremony. The couple read their vows to each other from my book where I printed them to face them, then they exchanged rings. I pronounced them husband and wife and they shared their first kiss as a married couple. I presented them to their guests amid applause and upbeat music and out they went! The guests went inside to enjoy cocktails while the staff rearranged the courtyard for the reception and we took photos. While I got the signatures of the witnesses on the marriage license, Dave packed up the sound system and we were on our way, leaving Melanie and Justin and their guests to celebrate!

Revisiting the New Year's Eve 2008 Wedding of Sara and Geoff

Sarah Barnett of Carolina Media Star Photography just sent me some fabulous photos of this wedding that she and Terry Lillich photograhed, and I wanted to share them with you. (Of course, these are all photos with me in them!) This was a great wedding and there is an earlier post about it with photos taken with my little digital camera--not even in the ball park with these professional shots! The wedding took place at the Carolina Inn which is a wonderful and elegant setting for weddings. They can handle several weddings simultaneously especially in nice weather when both courtyards are available.

Sara and Geoff told me that they had been dating for many years. Here are some words from their ceremony that they were instrumental in creating:

Many of you are very familiar with the tale of Sara and Geoff's relationship. They met 11 years ago during the Fall of 1997 as students right here at the University of North Carolina. Geoff was studying Athletic Training and just received his first team assignment, which happened to be the UNC Women's Gymnastics team. Sara was a Senior on that Gymnastics team, and completely unaware of Geoff's existence, according to Geoff. Regardless, one football Saturday afternoon Sara spent a few unusual hours at Four Corners, the bar where Geoff worked. After much contemplation on whether or not to violate the fraternization policy between Athletic Trainers and Athletes, Geoff decided to ask Sara on a date. She agreed to her first fraternity cocktail: a romantic dinner at Ham's, dancing, and keg beer. Needless to say, Sara was very impressed and they were both hooked from the start. After graduation, Geoff entered the Air Force for four years, but through all of their travels, he and Sara never lost touch, and never lost their feelings for each other. After Geoff's military service, he and Sara continued their relationship while living in different cities, even different countries. Geoff and Sara are sure many of you often wondered if you would ever see this day. Well it is here, and they are so happy to be able to share it with you tonight.

They also wrote secret vows to each other and heard them for the first time in their ceremony. They were really special vows. I am grateful to have been part of their special day! In the photo of Sara and me hugging, you can see my "roadie-assistant," Marty, in the background. It is rare to get a shot of Marty because she always has the camera!

Do You Need a Wedding Planner?

I recently saw this article below by a wedding planner and thought it was very good. If you can possibly afford a wedding planner, it is a very good idea to take some stress and work off your shoulders. They are behind the scenes worker bees that make sure your wedding flows beautifully on your wedding day and you can hire them to do specific functions or handle the whole wedding! There are many excellent wedding planners in this area I have worked with. This is Shawn Schindler of Your Perfect Day to the right who has just sent the bride and her dad down the aisle at Shady Wagon Farm. Below is Andrea of Bustles and Blooms posing with me for a photo after a wedding at St. Marks Chapel with reception to follow at The Umstead. I wish I had more photos of these wonderful planners. (See my website under Planning or click on "wedding planner" on the list in pink to the right here and my posts of weddings with wedding planners involved come up with links to the planners' sites.)

If you are having more than one attendant each, on the wedding day you will need someone to be in charge of the processional--to round everyone in the wedding party up and cue them when to walk in. The minister and groom customarily go in after the mother of the bride is seated so I cannot serve as the director, and at your rehearsal I will train someone you may "appoint" to do this job. But, if you have a wedding planner, she will conduct the rehearsal with me and be in charge of the processional and recessional. Needless to say, I really appreciate it when there is a wedding planner involved and can breathe a sigh of relief knowing everything will flow seamlessly on your wedding day. Here is the article:

"A good wedding planner is the first thing you should consider as being a necessity. A wedding planner has resources and contacts throughout their business repertoire that can save you time and money, not to mention they will see that you get the best value for your budget. You might be thinking that wedding planners are too expensive and only "luxury items" for the rich, but a good wedding planner will save you time and money and an unbelievable amount of stress. Here are a few wedding facts to consider when you begin planning your wedding.

The average wedding takes approximately 250 hours of planning. That translates into 6.25 full-time work weeks. Most engaged couples are full time students or employees who already spend over 40 hours a week with their nose at the grindstone. Do you have the time and patience to spend hours researching, checking references, going to site visits? If not, a wedding planner would be a wise investment. Wedding planners are your search party, librarian, research assistant, contract translator, vendor coordinator, and mediator when you and yours (fiance, mom, sister, grandmother, etc.) are not on the same page. A wedding planner will also think of things you might accidentally overlook, too. Babysitters, food allergies, checking the florals as soon as they arrive to ensure they are right, making arrangements for any handicapped guests, etc.

Maybe you are a super organized person who has everything under control. That is great, but you probably still need a DOC, commonly called a Day Of Coordinator. This person will guide you through your rehearsal, your pre-ceremony and ceremony, and at the least, your reception entrance. They will also aid in avoiding any uncomfortable seating issues like divorced family members or rowdy college friends. They assist with any emergencies that might arise like stains on gowns or missing buttons on suits. They are really a way to ensure that everyone is able to relax and have a great time at your special day.

But there are a few things to consider before signing a contract with any wedding vendor.

*How long have they been in business?
*Can you call references of recent brides?
*How many weddings do they do per weekend?
*Do they give or accept referral fees? A word to the cautionary, most really good wedding vendors do not need referral fees so definitely check references for the companies who will admit to giving or receiving them.
* Read the entire contract, including the fine print, and go over it with your fiance before signing anything. You will have plenty of chances to argue over the next 50 years, try not to let your vendor contracts be the reason you have a disagreement.
* Have an in person meeting with each vendor to make sure your personalities are comfortable with each other. You do not want to spend the next 8 months having to deal with someone you are not totally comfortable with, especially in regard to a planner. Your planner will become your friend, your knight in shining armor, and your pseudo-therapist during the months and weeks leading up to your special day. Make sure it is someone you want to spend time with doing wedding things.

Ask questions that are specific to your event, and remember that you do not have to be an 'impulse buyer' with your wedding. Take time to consider the possibilities and details. Enjoy the process and all the fun that goes with it."

Wedding DJs

I found this article in a blog about wedding DJs and thought it was very good. The author is Sammy Deortha.

"Weddings DJs have had a dramatic increase in their responsibility and role at wedding receptions. Nowadays, they are a key part in the success of the reception and the ceremony. This tends to pose many questions. What are the differences between a wedding coordinator/planner/director and a modern wedding DJ? Perhaps you would like to know more about their responsibility levels as well. There are many things that a wedding DJ does to run the itinerary of events in modern receptions in addition to the work done by the coordinator. As these professions continue to evolve, we are sure to see more consistency in these responsibilities.

A wedding coordinator will generally take care of the events the day of, including the preparation and everything leading to the ceremony itself. This is an area where the wedding DJ is doing hardly anything and is considered the wedding coordinators turf. An experienced DJ would be wise to assist the coordinator in the ceremony to ensure that everything goes as smoothly as possible, while not over-stepping their boundaries.

Many times a DJ will be hired to play music for the ceremony as well as the reception. This is because it is much more affordable to pay a DJ an extra hour to provide the microphone and the music. It is best if the DJ helps the wedding coordinator but does not lead the coordinator. The coordinator and the bride and groom have already discussed exactly how the ceremony should take place, so it is best for the DJ to take a passive role here.

When the ceremony is over, guests will usually enjoy a cocktail hour where there will be a hosted bar with some appetizers. This is the perfect opportunity for the wedding party and the bride and groom to take photos with their wedding photographer. This break, is another perfect opportunity for separation from the guests, to allow a grand entrance of the wedding party. The entrance is usually coordinated by the DJ with some assistance from the wedding coordinator. When the entrance and announcement of the wedding party is complete, the bride and groom will usually walk around to greet their guests for a few moments before dinner.

This is the time in the night where there is generally a transition in responsibility. The wedding coordinator would be wise to take a more passive role in coordination, as the rest of the evening is based around entertainment which is discussed with the DJ and the bride and groom. An experienced wedding DJ will know exactly what to do to keep your guests interested and staying at your wedding reception. It is important that the DJ has a very active role in getting your guests to flow from one event to another, with assistance from the wedding coordinator. A very experienced wedding DJ will be able to handle all of the itinerary events without the help of a wedding coordinator. This etiquette is extremely important in the success of a wedding reception and ceremony."

Here is my chance to tell you about three of my favorite DJs. The top photo is of Ross Merle and me at a wedding reception at Shady Wagon Farm. Often his wife Alice plays the keyboard for the wedding ceremony and Ross handles the reception. Nice combo. The second photo is of Bill Smith and Lenny Fritts at Bill's wedding in February 2008. What a fun wedding and I was honored to officiate for Bill and even attended the reception where there were many DJs I knew! In fact, next weekend I am officiating the wedding of Sandra's sister, Lori, and her fiance, Todd, and I will get to see their families again this year. What a treat! Ross, Bill and Lenny are happy to help the wedding coordinator with the ceremony logistics and will even direct the wedding if there is no coordinator. I also really enjoy working with Joe Bunn and his DJ staff but I don't have a photo to put here.

Should we see each other before the wedding?

Quick Tips from a Photographer: Becca Dilley

There is no simple answer, and you need to make the choice that feels right to you. In general, if you are comfortable seeing each other before the ceremony, then that makes a lot of your timing much easier. But, if it is important to you see each other for the first time when you walk down the aisle, that is exactly how you should plan your wedding! Here are a few tips for planning around your decision:

• Consider planning a “first viewing” where you and your fiance can see each other for the first time before the ceremony. By setting up a special time to see your fiance, your photographer can take photos and then you can have some time alone before starting family photos.

• If you choose to do all your formal photos after the wedding, you should know that timing is crucial: make sure family members know that they have to stay around after the ceremony.

• Consider having a receiving line at the reception instead of at the ceremony. When you take photos right after the ceremony your family won’t have to stick around so long, and your hair and clothing will be in better condition without being hugged for an hour!

• Even if you don’t have a formal receiving line, people will often want to congratulate you and it is hard to make a clean escape. If you plan on taking photos after the ceremony, the first thing you need is a “get away plan.” Many ceremony locations have a room you can hide in for several minutes as people are ushered out.

• No matter when you take your photos, make sure that you and your fiance take a few minutes of alone time together! Consider taking a moment before starting photos or right after the ceremony to connect with the most important person at your wedding.