Francesca and Jeff's Wedding 20 Years Ago!

Today, April 30, 2020, I opened my email to find this heart-warming message: 

Dear Kayelily:

First of all, I hope that you and yours are doing well during this dreadful pandemic outbreak and that you are both safe and healthy. I am reaching out to you because yesterday, April 29, 2020, my husband, Jeff Eischen, and I celebrated our 20^thwedding anniversary. Yes, twenty years ago, you officiated our wedding! This was the beginning of quite a journey for our blended family (both Jeff and I had 7 year old boys), filled with a great many highs and some inevitable lows. However, I am happy to report that  we have transcended the test of time so far and have felt deeply grateful for one another and the life we have built. Our boys are now nearly 28 years old and consider themselves brothers. Greg, my son, is a medical resident at Duke hospital, and Christopher, Jeff’s son, is a senior financial consultant with Deloitte in Charlotte. I have attached three photos of our beautiful wedding ceremony in Cary, NC. Also, below I am attaching the social media post that I circulated yesterday:

Many thought that we should never have married. Yet we still plunged into the madness of a two career blended family with overwhelming naïveté. The struggles and trials of the first four years nearly made us walk away, but we persisted and gradually we got better. Then, in the blink of an eye, 20 years have passed —our two successful boys are all grown up (and still come home for a home cooked meal and a hug now and then), we look ahead to winding down careers, and grapple with the sorrow of aging parents. Undeterred, however, we continue to seek and find new adventures and future challenges together, proving that indeed the true joy in marriage lies in the journey, not the destination. Happy 20th anniversary to *us* Jeff Eischen—full steam ahead 💕

 — with Jeff Eischen.

I wanted to share this with you as a heartfelt  thank you for being there at the start and for blessing our marriage and our fledgling family that at some level was woefully unprepared for what was to come. I believe that you made a  big difference in our success.

With much appreciation and warm regards,

Francesca Florey Eischen (and family)

It is moments like this that make my work with couples so rewarding and why I keep on going. I remember Francesca and Jeff's wedding vividly. It was at a private home tucked back in the woods in Cary with a steep incline in the driveway. Marty and I arrived just behind the truck delivering their wedding cake and we held our breaths watching to see if the cake was going to slide off the truck! Wonder of wonders, it arrived intact. 

Francesca and Jeff wanted to honor their two boys in the ceremony and this was my first time including a blessing for the children of a blended family in the ceremony. We put together these words and I am still using this blessing as an example for couples 20 years later:

"As part of the family nature of marriage, we recognize Gregory and Christopher and the very important role that they play in this relationship celebrated today.  

Christopher and Gregory, Francesca and Jeff want you to know that you are very much part of their relationship and loved and appreciated for your own unique selves. Their marriage will enrich your lives because your interests will always be considered and your needs honored. As a token of their promise to you they have brought special medallions to give to you today to represent their commitment to you. Treasure your medallion as a symbol that you are included in their thoughts and prayers always."

And now those boys are young men finding their way in the world having had effective parenting from their parent and stepparent. 

Francesca and Jeff--thank you for remembering me and giving me the honor of joining you in marriage and this tribute 20 years later! You have done all the hard work in the past 20 years making your relationship work and being role models for Christopher and Gregory. Congratulations! Sending love and many many blessings for another 20 plus years together!

Karen and Leon Wed at Brier Creek Country Club!

Karen and Leon's wedding came up rather suddenly! They had booked Sullivan's Steak House for their reception but needed a nice place for the ceremony with about 30 guests. They contacted Doranda at the Brier Creek Country Club and fortunately she had availability for their wedding Saturday March 16th 2019 at 3:00 PM since they were having their reception elsewhere. It all worked out beautifully!

The wedding day was so pretty and comfortable. The Jasmine Courtyard was all set up for the wedding. 

There was no rehearsal so Leon and I were going over the logistics of the processional. 

His two sons, Jordan and Kendall and granddaughter joined us to find out what they needed to do. 

We are waiting for Doranda to signal us when to start walking down the aisle. 

And here we go!

Taking our places up front before their kids process in. 

Jordan and Danielle and his daughter enter first. 

Then Kendall and Ariana.....

Karen's brother, Andre, was proud to escort his beautiful sister down the aisle. 

All the guests are standing in her honor. 

We started with a welcome to all thanking them for being there, followed by a prayer. 

I invited their kids to please stand. 

Karen and Leon had prepared words for me to speak to each other's children on their behalf. 

Such a sweet surprise for them. 

I gave a brief synopsis on how Leon and Karen's paths had crossed 11 years earlier and how their friendship gradually evolved into an enduring love that neither of them had experienced before.

Leon had told me in confidence what he loved about Karen, why he wanted to marry her, and what he was looking forward to in marriage. Karen is hearing the words for the first time in the ceremony.

Leon's turn to hear for the first time what Karen had told me about her feelings for him. 

A few words about how our past experiences serve to shape us into the people we become which leads us to each other like stepping stones.

Leon reads his vows to Karen from my book. 

Then Karen reads her vows to Leon. 

Time to exchange the rings. 

Leon placed the ring on Karen's finger as he said "With this ring, I thee wed!"

Karen's turn to do the same! 

A closing prayer with the words of the Canticle of Love from the United Methodist Hymnal. 

I was delighted to pronounce them wife and husband and invite them to share their first married kiss! 

Didn't get a picture of the kiss but this is the hug that followed! 

Oh, Happy Day!!

Leon and Karen, what a beautiful, sweet family wedding surrounded by your loved ones. I am honored that you chose me to join your hearts in marriage! I wish you the best forever!

Reecha and Heath's Forever Wedding at Rose Hill!

Reecha and Heath's wedding was originally scheduled for September 15th 2018 but Hurricane Florence blew in and changed their plans. They postponed to December 8th. The weather was cold and snow and ice predicted for later in the evening but the wedding was on no matter what! 

They chose the beautiful Rose Hill Plantation in Nashville, NC for their venue. 

A view of the gazebo where weddings in good weather are held. 

Inside the ballroom, I check out the sand ceremony set up and make sure it is ready. 

The cake was ready! And beautiful. By Edible Art. 

Heath and Reecha have known each other since middle school and went to high school together. They never dated but had a little crush on each other but nothing came of it. They graduated, went their separate ways to live their lives and raise their families. These are their high school photos for the 1980s!

Everyone was getting dressed and hanging out in the lodge. The guys were downstairs playing pool and snacking while the women were upstairs getting ready.

The place was beautifully decked out for Christmas. Would you believe I've done a wedding in this room many years ago?

Meanwhile back in the ballroom, the guests are assembling for the ceremony. Reecha's heritage is Indian and there are many guests dressed up in the traditional garments of this culture.
(Our wedding director for this wedding was Jennifer with Vision Events. The photographer was Brandon with Southern Love Studios. Our DJ was Randy Bennett with BunnDJ Co. The videographer was Elijah with Morgan Scott Films and the florist was Specialties Florals and Events. Rose Hill does their own catering.

The wedding party and I processed in then it was time for Reecha and her father to enter!

Purple was their color. Everyone is standing for the bride. 

They make their way down the aisle and I asked her father Ravi who blesses and supports Reecha as she comes to join in marriage to Heath. He of course answered that he and her mother did and everyone was seated.

We began the ceremony with a warm welcome to all followed by a prayer and remembrance of loved ones no longer with us.

A special surprise tribute to their parents was next.

Then I turned to their children who were in the wedding party and told them how important they are in the marriage we celebrate today.

The story--fast forward more than 20 years from high school graduation. Heath, single again, began browsing around on Facebook and found Reecha's page. He looked around to see how her life had gone since high school. He loved looking at photos of her and her kids.  He sent her a Friend request and wished her a Happy Mother's Day for the next two years. She friended him back but it took her 2 years to start a conversation. They found themselves in similar situations and the Facetiming, texting,  messaging commenced. Four months later they met in person. It was instant attraction and the feeling of being home again. But, he lived in Florida and Reecha in Raleigh so they endured a 4½ year long-distance relationship. He proposed on her birthday in 2017 and the wedding planning began in earnest!

I asked them each to tell me in confidence what they love about each other and what they are looking forward to in marriage. During the ceremony I revealed to the other what their beloved has told me.

Time for their vows and the exchange of rings. 

Heath places the ring on Reecha's finger.

They each poured in their sand then each of their children came forward and poured in their container of sand creating one big happy family.

A closing blessing then I pronounced them married and invited them to share their first kiss as husband and wife.

Sealed with a kiss! 

Married at last! 

So happy for them! 

My friends Rubin and Pam were their guests. I had no idea that they had known them since high school! 

The sand sculpture in a glass brick with all their names on it. 

Our cute little flower girls who finally can dance and sing without being shushed as they were during the ceremony! So adorable!

Reecha and Heath! Congratulations! It was a long time coming and I am so thrilled to have joined you in matrimony! I wish you and your family all the best forever!