Common Pitfalls to Avoid in Hiring a Wedding Officiant

I ran across this excellent article today. It is by Joseph Francis Cano who is a non-denominational minister in California. Click here to see the original article and the author's other good information. 


1. Don't Assume "Real" Ministers Are Always the Best Wedding Ministers.

The fact is theological seminaries are primarily academic institutions. I know this first hand. They earn accreditation based primarily on meeting academic requirements. Thus, those who earn degrees from these institutions are women and men who have demonstrated academic excellence and thus qualified to impart theological understanding to others through preaching, teaching, and church program administration. That is what seminaries are designed to do.

The problem is that many who are highly intuitive, relationally and spiritually discerning - that is, gifted people persons - are not necessarily academic scholars. Personal integrity, character, compassion, and sensitivity - the characteristics of great wedding ministers - can neither be taught nor objectively measured academically. Thus the most gifted, loving ministers might not make the grade academically.

The best wedding ministers are those who combine specialized training with developed ministry gifts.

2. Don't Be a Last-Minute Officiant Shopper

Many wedding planners wisely suggest securing your wedding minister should be one of the first things you do. Ideally you begin your search within a month or two of your engagement. The reason is simple: The best wedding ministers book up to a year or more in advance for peak season weddings.


3. Don't Make Price the Primary Determinant

This is a repeated theme because it is probably the most common pitfall. More than any other factor, this is the difference between a nice little wedding and the wedding of your dreams. I simply cannot stress this enough.

Let me try to explain this another way. "Good" should never aptly describe a wedding ceremony. A once-in-a-lifetime moment cannot be merely "good" or "fine" - "good" and "fine" happens every day. It should be described in terms such as "unforgettable," "incredible", "magical," or "beyond my wildest dreams."

Well, contrary to what some might think, it doesn't just happen. The "fairy-tale wedding of your dreams" is the hard-earned product of a wedding minister's dedication, inspiration, and perspiration. The "magic" you two want to experience is actually the result of much careful and deliberate preparation, cultivation, understanding, wisdom, and craftsmanship on the part of the wedding minister.

Not every wedding minister can deliver. Those who can usually cost a little more than those who can't (and generally are booked earlier). It's the wise bride and groom who invest a couple hundred dollars more here to secure what is arguably the single most important wedding professional of all.

Whatever you do, do not rob yourself, your husband or wife, and your marriage of the power, beauty, and lasting importance of this life moment by getting someone who simply lacks the training, knowledge, experience, and abilities to deliver.


4. Don't Assume a Fancy Website Means a Fantastic Wedding Minister

More and more people are being drawn into the wedding ministry business. Competition has forced ministers to become more marketing savvy. As a result, there are a great many more attractive, sophisticated, and professionally designed websites for wedding officiants than just three or four years ago. Depending on the web design company, these websites may or may not reveal more about the web design company than the wedding minister.

10 Ways to Help Your Wedding Officiant Help You

I ran across this article on another blog and I thought it had some good points so I am posting it here.
The author is Maureen Thomson, a wedding officiant since 2001, and the owner of Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants.

10 Ways to Help Your Wedding Officiant Help You

It is your wedding officiant’s responsibility to make sure that you are given every opportunity to make your wedding ceremony creative, memorable and stress-free. As in any relationship, however, it’s the cooperation and synergy of all partners that turns good into great. Here are some things you as the couple can do to assist your wedding officiant in giving you the best service possible and to ensure a wonderful wedding day memory for you and your guests.

1. Return emails, phone calls and requested materials in a timely manner. If we need something from you to spice up your ceremony, we need you to tell us what it is before it’s too close to ceremony time. Don’t wait to make wording choices or pick out your ceremony components until two weeks before the wedding. That doesn’t give your officiant enough time to pull it all together and practice the service until it flows smoothly. Don’t be like the groom who was dictating ceremony wording changes to one of my officiants as the bride came down the aisle! (true story!)

2. Be open with us about family issues that may impact your wedding ceremony. If your divorced parents can’t stand the sight of each other, we can help mitigate that if we’re aware of it.

3. Make your payments on time. The less time we have to track you down trying to get our fee, the more time we can spend creating a wonderful service for you. If you’re strapped, let us know. We’ll do our best to work with your ability to pay. (I collect the fee up front so you don't have to remember to pay me later at the wedding.)

4. Be selective about the friends and family members you ask to participate in your ceremony. You may love your great aunt Mildred to death, but if she’s uncomfortable speaking before a crowd and murmurs her reading in a too-soft, shaky voice, the effect will be lost.

5. Select your location with the comfort of your guests in mind. Yes, it’s your day, but grandparents on oxygen shouldn’t be expected to come to your Colorado mountain-top wedding (you know, the one with the quarter mile hike to the overlook with the breathtaking view) And you may have your heart set on an outdoor setting for your service, but if the temperature dips and the wind and rain pick up--or when the heat index is over 100 degrees, is it worth putting your guests through the discomfort of sitting huddling and shivering/ sweating through your nuptials?

6. If you have a medium-sized to large wedding (I’d say anything over 75 guests) or if there are any background noises (traffic, a rushing stream) then be sure to arrange for a microphone. There is nothing worse for guests that having to strain to catch every word--or not hear the minister at all. Not to worry, I have 3 sound systems so I come prepared.

7. Be sure you have of the ceremony essentials with you on the wedding day (e.g. rings, roses for rose ceremony, wine for wine ceremony, a lighter for the Unity Candle). Sure, we can scramble for these items and help out last minute in a pinch, but it’s much less stress for everyone if everything is present and accounted for.

8. Be ready on time. If your ceremony starts 30 minutes late, your guests will be grumpy from the get-go. It makes for a much smoother ceremony experience if everyone starts out in a good mood!

9. Give your ceremony musicians a copy of the ceremony beforehand (or request that your officiant forward a copy). While we do coordinate with your musicians right before the ceremony starts, it helps the music to start and stop more fluidly if they’ve had a chance to review the words that cue them to play.

10. If you are getting married at a private residence or any other location that is not a known wedding venue, be sure we know in advance of any potential glitches in getting there. Put balloons on the front walk if the number is not well-marked and if you know that Google maps gives incorrect directions to your home, then by all means let us know beforehand.

The Wedding Officiant’s Fee

Here is another excellent article written by Maureen Thomson owner of Lyssabeth’s Colorado Wedding Officiants:

I was flabbergasted to receive an email the other day, chastising me for our $369 Classic Custom ceremony fee. According to the writer’s calculations, the fee for a “15 minute ceremony” resulted in us obtaining the astronomical hourly rate of $1,476! Wowza! If that were true, I’d be writing this article from my summer mansion on the shores of the Mediterranean while my cabana boy massaged my tootsies!

Couples often have to rein in their wedding day festivities to accommodate their budget. And make no mistake about it–the wedding business is a multi-billion dollar industry with the average cost of a wedding hovering above $30,000. A professional job well done is worth a fair price, however, and it seems our unhappy writer above was unaware of the time, work and expense put forth by a high-quality officiant.

So, if you’ve been secretly wondering why the rate for some officiants seems high for the amount of time it takes to deliver your ceremony, let me clarify things.. First of all, let’s look at the actual time that is included:

Most custom ceremonies do not last 15 minutes as our friend suggested, but closer to 30 minutes. Officiants generally arrive up to 30 minutes prior to the ceremony to facilitate last minute coordination, and stay an additional 15-20 minutes after the completion of the ceremony to sign the license, congratulate the couple and pose for photos. The initial getting acquainted meeting lasts 45 minutes to an hour. It takes an hour to write the ceremony. (I write the ceremony only if a couple is having a small private elopement type wedding. For the large weddings I guide my couples in writing their own ceremony by furnishing them a wealth of beautiful, diverse wedding ceremony material I have collected over the past 11 years. Then I take their choices and weave them into a beautiful flowing ceremony. I also write the couple's "story" from their answers to questions I send them. I spend at least 10 hours working on that kind of ceremony.) Driving time to and from the ceremony must be included. There is generally an additional 30-45 minutes of email time during the course of our pre-ceremony relationship to answer questions. We advise couples on everything from marriage licenses to the name change process to wedding etiquette.

So, factoring in the above actually brings our “15 Minute Ceremony” up to 5 hours of time (or more) on the part of the officiant. Still, our frugal friend might howl that brings us to an hourly average of $74–unjustifiable to many. So, let’s take the following expenses into account. (In my capacity as a therapist, my time is worth $100 per hour!)

How did our fine fellow find us? Through one of the wedding sites upon which we advertise. This does not come for free. Nor does our website that we pay to design, maintain and host in order to give prospective clients complete information on our services as well as access to other helpful resources.

Add in the cost of gasoline, car insurance and maintenance to get us to the ceremony on time (always a plus!), office expenses, ministerial vestments, binders, phone costs, bank fees, postage, business taxes, membership dues, paper, ink, postage and that fancy black pen that you get to use to sign your license!

All of this is difficult to quantify and will vary from officiant to officiant. And of course, the cost needs to be spread across all of the bookings that an officiant acquires in any given month. Let’s take a conservative estimate and say that the above costs average approximately $30 per wedding booked. This brings us down to a more respectable $44 per hour. But wait! We have forgotten to include the wedding resources to which each couple has access in order to write their ceremony. Most officiants who’ve been writing ceremonies for years have compiled a vast wealth of options for vows, blessings, readings, etc, as well as some great creative ideas for use in the ceremony. Value? Well, we sell our ceremony resources, for $50, so let’s assume that is a safe bet. Lopping that off the top of the original $369 brings our officiant’s hourly rate down to a more reasonable $34.00 per hour.

Now, our fine fellow could certainly have his best friend, Bud, obtain a quickie online ordination and perform the wedding ceremony for the compensation of a six-pack. That would be one way to save the cost of an officiant and is a viable option for many. However, before you go call up the Bud-ster, you might want to think about what comes with that $34.00 per hour fee.

A professional wedding officiant is going to be able to handle anything that comes along on the day of the wedding. It’s not as simple as showing up and reading the script. Consider the following mishaps that have happened to couples whom I’ve wed: microphones die during the ceremony, bridal party members faint, ex-spouses feud (openly!), brides and grooms cry uncontrollably during their vows, flower girls get stung by bees, Dads need reassurance, lines get flubbed by the bride and groom, the ring bearer throws up on his way down the aisle. A thunderstorm unleashes halfway through the ceremony, Unity Candles won’t light. It goes on and on.

And then there are the last minute details–coordinating with the music providers, the photographer and the venue staff. Bridal party members need to be lined up and inevitably some key person is in the bathroom come ceremony start time. Is the Unity Candle lighter in place? Where are the roses for the rose ceremony? They were forgotten? No problem, the officiant plucks some out of a centerpiece and saves the day. (Or goes and buys a forgotten candle lighter and lights 100 floating candles before the service starts for a candlelight wedding!) Does the best man have the rings? Oh dear! The reader forgot her reading–good thing the officiant has an extra copy. Who has the marriage license? Which side is the bride’s side and which is the groom’s? The FOB (father of bride) is MIA. Oh, there he is–on the balcony having a cigarette with his girlfriend (who by the way can’t stand the ex and refuses to sit in the same row). The bride, starting to stress, turns to her officiant, who offers her a reassuring smile. All is well.

The ceremony is filled with wonderfully creative ideas that the officiant has provided. It is delivered by a proficient public speaker who projects loudly enough for even those in the back row to hear. (I actually bring my professional Fender Passport sound system with me to weddings {included in my fee}unless there is a DJ who can provide a sound system into which I plug my theater microphone. My sound system and all its components cost me about $1,500--but saves my couples the expense of renting one for their wedding so that all the guests can hear their beautiful ceremony.) Along the way, the officiant has offered support, guidance, and encouragement. A professional wedding officiant is equal parts emcee, etiquette adviser, coordinator, script-writer, organizer, frayed nerve-soother and legal resource.

 The wedding officiant is one of the lowest wedding vendor fees that a couple will pay, yet having a bad one can ruin what should be the couple’s most special day. While we respect the right of each couple to prioritize their wedding spending, it is always surprising when a couple spends copious amounts of money on things like cake, cutesy favors and limousine, only to seek a bare bones ceremony–which is the heart of the wedding day. Down the road, I think you will want to remember the words of commitment you spoke as being meaningful and poignant as opposed to how yummy your cake was or that you had an open bar at the reception.

Beware the officiant who charges a ridiculously low fee, does not require a deposit or doesn’t issue a contract. I can’t tell you how many calls we get from panicked brides because their “professional” wedding officiant backed out of the wedding a week before. If you haven’t given them money and signed a contract, then the deal is not sealed. Here’s the bottom line: expect to pay a fair price for a professional service. Then, sit back and allow your officiant to show you how to create a wedding ceremony that upon which you will look back and smile about for many years to come!

(Maureen Thomson is a wedding officiant and owner of Lyssabeth’s Colorado Wedding Officiants. Visit her website at http://www.MemorableCeremonies.com, http://www.RockyMountainWeddingOfficiants.com or http://www.ColoradoSpringsWeddingOfficiants.com)

Having a Friend Get Ordained and Officiate Your Wedding..........

Once again, I saw this article on Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants blog and thought it might be of interest to my readers. I have been asked at the last minute or nearly the last minute by couples who have asked friends to get ordained online in order to officiate their wedding. Sometimes it is because the couple starts doubting the legality of doing this and worry about their marriage being "legal" and indeed, online ordinations in North Carolina are quite controversial. Other times the project of writing the ceremony becomes overwhelming and the friend either backs out or "gets sick." Once I was hired just to standby and do the pronouncement at the end and handle the license--which I did. When I asked to see the ceremony they and their friend had come up with, I was appalled and re-wrote the whole ceremony which the couple loved. They simply did not know what they were doing. On another occasion I ended up co-officiating with the friend after the couple and I wrote the ceremony and we alternated sections. That really was a lot of fun and he felt so much more at ease having me there with him. 

For a variety of reasons, many couples are turning away from church weddings in favor of nontraditional locations in which to hold their wedding ceremonies. Some couples desire to hold their wedding and reception in the same location. Others opt for outdoor ceremonies. Still others have no ties to organized religion and refuse to compromise those beliefs by marrying in a church. Brides and grooms with different religious upbringing and beliefs (e.g. He is Muslim, she is Christian) often opt for a non-church wedding simply to avoid having to harmonize their different religious philosophies. Oftentimes couples simply want to avoid church-mandated pre-marital counseling.

With more creative options for ceremony locations, it was inevitable that a similar rise in options for ceremony officiants would follow. Couple this with the current precipitous economy, and some brides and grooms are leaning toward asking a friend or family member to officiate at their wedding ceremony.

A good idea? Maybe. It depends on the personality and talents of the person you ask. Here are the pros and cons.

Pros:

It’s a great way to be married by someone who knows you personally. A friend or family member can share stories about you as a couple from their firsthand experience and really make your ceremony unique.

It’s cost effective if the friend will perform the ceremony for free.

You’ll have free reign to put whatever you want into your ceremony.

Cons:

Much can go wrong in the delivery of your wedding ceremony. Even those who are proficient speakers under different circumstances may become rattled at the everyday glitches that can crop up in a wedding ceremony. Consider how your friend will do if the groom becomes emotional, the bride flubs her vows, the flower girl is whining, the musicians play the wrong selection, inclement weather conditions suddenly arise for your outdoor wedding, your feuding divorced parents refuse to sit next to one another, the microphone dies mid-sentence, or someone faints. Handling these situations requires a special set of skills. Professional officiants have “been there, done that” with every situation above and more! (Amen!)

Unless one has had experience in writing a ceremony, putting one together can be time-consuming and a lot of work. Don’t expect to find much in the way of innovative ideas on the web without doing a ton of research. Most books deal with writing your own vows, but that is only one part of the ceremony.

Affordable does not mean free. Unless it is your friend’s wedding gift to you, expect to give them the courtesy of compensating them for their time in some manner, be it an outright payment, a gift card or a dinner out.

There is nothing binding to stop your friend from changing his or her mind as the big day approaches. This happens all the time as people get cold feet or egos start to conflict between the couple and the officiating friend. We receive calls all the time from couples looking for an officiant because their friend backed out at the 11th hour.

If your friend or family member is very close to you, consider the possibility that he or she will become overly emotional during the service.
 
Bottom line advice

Be sure you are 100% confident of your friend’s ability to handle a myriad of circumstances that can creep up on your big day. If you have any reservations at all, then bite the financial bullet and hire a professional.

Consider your own personality. If you and your honey are incredibly laid-back and okay with imperfections in your wedding ceremony, then by all means go for it. But if you are not so inclined, then consider the fact that having an inexperienced amateur facilitating your ceremony may be more stress than you can handle on such an emotion-packed day.

Start the process of writing your ceremony early–at least six months before the wedding date, so that there will be lots of time for research, practice and revisions.

Bear in mind that an online ordination is not recognized as sufficient to legally perform weddings in every state. You must check with your local County Clerk and Recorder to see if your state validates the legality of such ceremonies. In some instances, your aspiring officiant must also register with the county before performing a ceremony, which sometimes requires a fee.

Having a friend perform your wedding ceremony can be wonderfully warm, personal and fun. Just be sure you go into it with your eyes open to the potential pitfalls as well as the benefits. If you go this route, remember to choose your “volunteer” officiant with care, plan for contingencies, and practice, practice, practice until it all flows smoothly.

5 Top Tips for Selecting Your Wedding Officiant

This article was written by Rev. Annemarie Juhlian in Washington State. I have been following her blog for several years and really resonate with her as a colleague and fellow non-denominational minister. I echo what she has to say about choosing an officiant.

You've got so much planned for your wedding day - casual or formal, big or intimate - AND one of the last details left to deal with is finding and selecting a person to marry you!
If you are being married outside of a specific religious tradition or if you don't have a minister, rabbi, priest or layperson to officiate your ceremony, you will need to find an Officiant or Minister in the "outside world."
As a Non-Denominational Wedding Officiant/Minister, I have worked with hundreds of couples of all faiths and traditions to create and delivery personalized wedding ceremonies. Over the years, I have learned many things working intimately with engaged couples and with "tribes" on the wedding day.
I offer you these 5 Top Tips to Consider and Remember As You Interview And Select Your Officiant/Minister:
1) Is Your Officiant/Minister Passionate About What They Do? Creating and officiating a wedding ceremony is serious business. It also requires that a person be passionate, excited and at the same time humble about doing this work. As you interview Officiants, consider the "passion" factor. Is the Officiant excited about the possibility of working with you? Do they offer ideas and suggestions for your wedding ceremony during your initial conversation? Can you see this person relating to you and your Sweetheart and can you get a sense of how they will "be' in front of a group?
The last thing you want is a boring "blah, blah, blah" wedding ceremony. The goal is to find an Officiant/Minister who exhibits kindness, generosity and leadership ability.
2) Does The Officiant's Personality Resonate With You? There is not right way to "do" a ceremony. And there is no "wrong" way to do a ceremony. It's all about what you want/desire as a couple. I invite you to consider that an Officiant's personality is key to a robust and memorable wedding ceremony. You need to like each other and if the Officiant selects you and you select the Officiant, this is even better because you are setting the stage for a mini-friendship which makes the process of working together that much more fun and enjoyable.
3) Style of Work - How Will Your Ceremony Be Created/Crafted? Every Officiant works differently. Discuss with your Officiant how they create and deliver a ceremony. Will your ceremony be custom written? Will you be asked to select from sample ceremonies? What is the level of personalization and customization involved?
4) References ~ The best Officiants put references on their websites with the first and last name of a couple. There are also wedding reviews sites that provide additional reviews and recommendations. Don't hire an Officiant without reading and/or checking out references. (I prefer to protect the privacy of my couples and therefore do not publish their last names on my website or on my blog. I am happy to furnish references if someone wants to contact one of my couples. There are also 30 something reviews of me on WeddingWire.com that couples can read.)
5) The Contract Factor ~ As you make your final decision, insure that you have a written agreement and/or contract with your Officiant. You want all terms and items of understanding to be outlined in your agreement including fee for services, attendance at rehearsal, time of wedding ceremony and services provided to you.

Annemarie Juhlian is a Wedding Officiant, Minister & Celebrant in Seattle, Washington. She creates personalized wedding ceremonies for couples of all faiths and traditions. Take a peak at Annemarie: http://www.wedbyannemarie.com or call 425. 922.1325

I use Google Alerts to notify when the terms "wedding minister" and "wedding officiant" appear on the internet. Tonight I ran across this blog and there was a great article about choosing your wedding officiant written by Yolanda Shoshana. So I am posting it here for my couples.

Shopping for a Wedding Officiant

It is always interesting when a bride-to-be waits till the last minute to find an officiant. This may not be the best move, especially if you are getting married during the popular wedding months. The best officants get booked fast, and you just may end up with an officiant you have to settle on. You work hard to plan everything so that it is a perfect day, so why should your wedding officiant blow it? A wedding officiant sets the tone and pace of the wedding ceremony, so you will want the right one standing before you.

It is important that you and your partner decide what type of ceremony you want to have such as interfaith, spiritual, traditional, etc. before you select an officiant. Feel free to think outside of the box with what you want in a ceremony; you really can have exactly what you want. Having in mind the type of ceremony you want will help you narrow down your search for an officiant.

Find out what the state you live in requires in the qualification of an officiant. Each state has its own rules when it comes to who can officiate weddings. For example, in New York State anyone you choose can marry you, but in New York City it’s a whole other case. The person officiating the wedding has to be registered with the court. If you live in a state where it is required for the person to be registered, they should be able to supply you with a number from the court, so make sure you check the number to confirm they are legit. The last thing you need is to find out on your ten-year anniversary that “technically” you aren’t considered married. Check the officiant number.

{In NC, the officiant must be an ordained minister, priest, rabbi, chaplain or other person authorized by a recognized religious group to solemnize marriages. No registration with the county or state is required.}

You should question how much the officiant is willing to customize the wedding ceremony. There are officiants who will create one ceremony and use it for every couple that they marry. Talk about boring and impersonal. Then there are officiants like me who specialize in creating customized ceremonies. In a customized ceremony, you can add prose, poems, songs, have dancing bears, that basically allow your imagination to run wild. Also, find out if you want your friends and family to play an active role in your ceremony and see how the officiant feels about that. These are important questions to ask when you interview. The officiant should be incorporating your vision into the ceremony.

Personality is key when selecting an officiant. For the most part, when you interview the officiant, what you see is what you get. Choosing someone with personality will ensure that your ceremony is unique, plus there is nothing worse than an officiant so boring that everyone at the ceremony is falling asleep. Everyone has been to a boring wedding; you know you don’t want that to be you.

Last but not least, find an officiant who makes you feel comfortable. Don’t forget that the officiant works for you, not the other way around. It is your big day, one to remember forever.

Where Do You Find a Wedding Officiant? Tips for Your Officiant Search.

I saw this post on the Wedding Bee Pro Blog tonight and thought I would share it with you. It is an excellent article; in fact, I should have written it myself!

Where Do You Find a Wedding Officiant? Tips for Your Officiant Search.

"I frequent the Weddingbee message boards, and one of the frequent questions I find myself answering over there is “Where do you find a wedding officiant?”

Sometimes I think the Wedding Industrial Complex has forgotten about the wedding officiant. I've met with couples who have been planning their wedding for 18 months – but didn't think to hire an officiant until three weeks before. Many couples worry about who is going to marry them if they don't get married in a church or a temple, or if they are non-religious or don't want a minister or a rabbi. The WIC tells brides that they need to match their bridesmaids’ dresses to their shoes exactly, that you need monogrammed napkins and signature drinks – but tells you nothing about customizing or personalizing your wedding ceremony, which is one of the most important parts of the entire day – otherwise, it's really just a party.

Here's the thing: wedding officiants and Celebrants are out there! And we want to perform your wedding ceremony – exactly how you want it to be! My weddings have NO requirements when it comes to their structure or content. Sure, I'll guide you in certain directions, based on my past experiences on what works, but you can basically choose exactly what you'd like to include in your wedding. It's always personal, and truly reflects the people being married.

And I'm not alone in doing this – there are Celebrants all over the United States (and a few scattered across other countries, too!) who want to work with you to create a beautiful wedding ceremony. You just need to find them! And we really do all that we can so you don't feel like you're being married by a wedding vendor or professional – we try to make it feel like you're being married by a friend (well, at least, I do). A friend who knows a lot about wedding traditions and the ins and outs of ceremony, that is.

So here are some tips when you begin your officiant search:


The best time to start looking for an officiant is when you decide WHERE your ceremony is going to be. Not only is it a peace of mind to know that you can be confident in your ceremony being as beautiful as your venue, but we also book up around four to twelve months before the wedding. We may not be available or able to put together a great ceremony on very short notice (but it can be done!)

Start by Googling “wedding officiant in [your state]” to find some jumping off points. You can also check out websites like WeddingWire that have reviews from real brides (i.e., we can't edit the responses) or TheKnot to see who is out there, too.

Schedule a meeting or phone call before signing a contract. There are some wedding pros that I think are OK for just one person to check out – but try your best to BOTH be at the phone call or meeting. All Celebrants offer a no-obligation meeting, and I think it's important to click and have a real connection with the person who is marrying you. [Personal note: my fiance and I met with a few officiants for our wedding. I spoke on the phone with one who I had a good connection with, but my fiance did not connect with her at all at the meeting - I was ready to hire her over the phone. Meetings are important.]

Ask good questions at your meeting! I find that I almost always answer all of my couple's questions in my initial wedding spiel, but here are some good questions to ask:

Are you legal to solemnize marriages in my state?
How do we get our wedding license? Who files it?
Can we customize the ceremony? Can we write our own vows?
Do you have a PA system you can bring, or a preference for amplification?
What do you wear?
Can we see the ceremony before hand?
How long are your typical wedding ceremonies? How long do you think our wedding will be?
Do you prefer to communicate via email or phone?
Is a rehearsal included in the fee? Do you recommend a rehearsal? Do you attend the rehearsal?
How early do you arrive on the day of the ceremony?
Do you stay for the reception or the rehearsal dinner?
Do you have a backup? What happens if you can't make it to the wedding?
If we forget to get the license, will you still perform the ceremony?
Do you provide props for the ceremonies (handfasting, unity candle, etc)?

I think you should walk out of your meeting with your wedding officiant excited about your wedding and your ceremony, with a clear picture of the ceremony in your head. A good officiant should be able to offer you assistance with your vows (either suggestions if you don't plan on writing them, or editing if you do), reading suggestions, and help with rituals you may want to include.

I hope this helps with the daunting task of finding a wedding officiant who is right for you. Have you found your wedding officiant yet? How did you feel after meeting him or her?"