A new court case in NC illustrates once again that NC does not recognize on line ordained ministers as legitimate officiants for weddings in NC.
Ask Carolyn: Dec. 5, 2022
Dear Carolyn:
As the holiday season approaches, one of my friends wants me to officiate at their wedding. The friend says this is done all the time. What do you think? Can I be the person to give the vows at my friend’s wedding?
Carolyn Answers:
This “my friend, my wedding officiant” is becoming a popular question and practice. Approximately 43 percent of weddings use a family or friend as an officiant, up 29 percent since 2009 (The Knot). I have been asked about the legality of private wedding officiants several times recently and even had someone ask me to officiate a wedding. My response was, “no.” North Carolina has precise requirements for who can perform a wedding; among those persons are ordained ministers and magistrates.
Hill v. Hill is a 2022 case from the North Carolina Court of Appeals. Linda and Carlyle married in a backyard wedding with an officiant named Moonhawk. Moonhawk had a mail-order reverend certificate from Universal Life Church. She also said she was a Reiki master. Carlyle filed to annul the marriage after Linda filed domestic violence charges against him. The court ruled the marriage was void, and the Court of Appeals affirmed the voiding of the wedding. While the case is notable for several reasons because Mr. Hill died before all the hearings were completed, the annulment should tell us about friend and family officiants.
There are several ways to handle the fact that the people conducting your wedding are not legally recognized in NC to solemnize marriage.
Option 1: Hire a legally ordained officiant to come to your wedding and make the pronouncement of marriage at the end of the ceremony and handle the signing of the marriage license. Or, that officiant could “co-officiate” your ceremony with your family member.
Option 2: Hire a legally ordained officiant to do a “signing” of the license before or after your ceremony on the wedding day with the two of you and your two witnesses so that the date is the same as your ceremony. No ceremony, just the pronouncement of marriage. Or do a signing on another day prior to the wedding—but the dates would not match up.
Option 3: Go to a county courthouse and get married by a magistrate (county appointed judge) there. You may have to make an appointment. Magistrates marry couples in the courtroom on weekdays during working hours. On weekends some county magistrates will officiate your wedding at a detention center/jail. You can only bring your two witnesses. $50.
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