A Lovely Wedding at the NC State Fairgrounds for Dana and Matt!

With the help of her mother, Wanda, Dana and Matt planned a sweet wedding at the state fairgrounds on April 11, 2009. I had never done a wedding there so I wondered what the facility would be like. It turned out to be very nice. It is the Gov. Martin Building which is new and modern. The facility had a spacious room they used for the reception and on the floor they had a big clear cellophane type sticker that read: "Just Married-Dana & Matt." The ceremony took place on the covered patio which is open on one end and one side. They had a lovely wedding cake and their DJ, John Buckley, was providing music for the reception. I was thankful he was there because the CD that the couple planned to play on their small portable CD player for the ceremony ended up not working--of course, right when we were ready to begin! So at the last minute we propped open the doors and John turned his huge speakers to face the doors and cranked the music up. It went fine except that he could not see the ceremony from his control station and had to run back and forth! Thanks, John!

So, when we were ready to begin, Matt and his father who was the best man, and I walked in and took our places. To the left of me in the first seat on the groom's side the couple had placed a photo of Matt's mother who died when he was 10. He placed a red rose on the chair when he walked in. Then Mitzi, the maid of honor, processed in. Then Wanda wheeled in Amaya, Dana and Matt's almost one year old daughter, in a red wagon all decorated with flowers. She was such a good baby and did not fuss at all. Then Dana's father, Morris, escorted her in and transferred her hand into Matt's hand. We began with a warm welcome and a prayer, remembering Matt's mother. We recognized Amaya too but she did not seem to be paying attention! At least she was quiet for which we were all grateful. She is a little sweetie pie! The couple exchanged vows and rings then they poured their sand together alternating it with sand for Amaya signifying the family unity. I pronounced them married and they kissed. We closed with a blessing and they just about skipped down the aisle they were so happy to be married. Marty and I got a few photos and then we boogied out of there to the next wedding. All the best to you, Matt, Dana and Amaya!

This is an article I saw on a blog posted by Claire Zulkey. I thought it was very good so I am posting it here:

One thing I learned before I got married is that nobody loves to talk about weddings more than women who just got married. They’ll grab on to any socially acceptable opportunity to relive their experiences. Now, I’m one of those women who’s full of tips on how to get through your wedding day. One day, maybe you can pass a few of these dos and don’ts on to the next girl when you go to blab about your wedding.

Do:
Assume that something will go wrong. It’s going to happen. Accepting that fact will make your life easier. Our venue got changed the day our invitations were mailed. Fortunately, it was moved to a church across the street. We sent out notes alerting guests to the change, and everything went fine. It wasn’t that big of a deal, and it felt good to get that mini-disaster out of the way.

Do:
Have an engagement photo session with your photographer. Even if you have no intention of submitting your pics to the local paper, it’s good practice. You’ll get to know your photographer, and you’ll get the hang of those lovey-dovey shots with your spouse-to-be.

Don’t:
Put up with crappy sales service from wedding vendors. I decided not to go to one bridesmaid dress store because the lady on the phone was so bitchy to me. I wanted the experience to be as pleasant as possible. (Note: This does not give you carte blanche to be a bridezilla. It means you should patronize companies that make you feel at ease.)

Don’t:
Spend money on things for your wedding day because magazines tell you to do so. If you love your perfume, you don’t need to get a special new one for the special day. If white wine is your favorite drink, no need to freak about a signature cocktail.

Do:
Have a master guest list with addresses on hand, in hard copy and online. It will be invaluable when it comes to writing thank you notes. Keep the hard copy in a heavy-duty envelope, because you’ll be carrying it around and taking it out again and again. I kept mine with a stash of stationery, stamps, and the little booklet I used to keep track of who gave me what.

Don’t:
Worry about matching your thank you note stationery to your invitations unless you must. I’m not sure who came up with the rule that every blasted thing in a wedding, from the save-the-date cards to the invites to the seating cards to the programs to the stationery, has to match. Maybe it was a crazy person.

Do:
Enlist your soon-to-be spouse to pitch in with the thank you notes. He/she will be enjoying the gifts too, right? I ended up writing a brief outline to thank-you-note writing for my fiance, since he wasn’t as used to writing them as I was, but once he got some practice his were funnier than mine.

Don’t:
Just write thank you notes to the people who gave you gifts. If you felt especially moved by your rabbi’s speech or the care the coordinator at your reception location gave you, let them know.

Don’t:
Be afraid of bridal magazines. Even if you’re the indie-est indie bride who ever lived, you still need ideas for things like the cake and flowers. Magazines are great for this, even if you think the articles are silly. (I liked Martha Stewart Weddings and InStyle Weddings.)

Do:
Periodically cull through your wedding binder and throw away things that are no longer relevant—dress ideas after you’d purchased your gown, honeymoon articles after you’ve already booked the trip. Unless you enjoy scoliosis.

Don’t:
Think The Knot is in charge of your life. You are in charge of your life. Also, The Knot thinks you have to order your cake way earlier than you actually do.

Do:
Happily support your friends who get engaged during your engagement. They’re not stealing your thunder—they’re joining a team of people whose opinions you can elicit and won’t get tired of talking about wedding stuff. If you feel like your wedding is going to be “less special” because someone else is getting married this year, maybe you’re not mature enough to get married.

Do:
Get over your “dream gown.” Odds are the dress you saw in the magazine looks totally different on you. Trust your experts, and your own eyes. While I wish that Oscar de la Renta gown didn’t make me look eight months pregnant, I didn’t fall apart over that fact.

Don’t:
Buy a dress in a size smaller than you are and think you’ll shame yourself into fitting into it by the wedding. No offense, but if you haven’t lost the weight by now, how are you magically going to do it by your wedding date? Buy a dress that fits and dedicate yourself to taking good care of your body. If you happen to lose a ton of weight by the wedding day, get your dress altered.

Do:
Make sure that you have someone on hand who knows how to bustle your dress. I sure couldn’t have done it myself. Invite your mother or maid of honor to the final fitting for this reason and bring them a notepad to take notes. Hopefully, they won’t think you’re totally neurotic.

Do:
Get the itinerary down ahead of time, even if it seems uber-anal. You want to make sure everyone knows where to be for the getting ready, the pictures, the church, the speeches, the cake, and so on, so you’re not chasing people down all day.

Don’t:
Overschedule the reception. After the first dance/cake cutting, enjoy yourself.

Do:
Spend some “you” time right before the wedding. The days leading up to my wedding I couldn’t sleep, was losing weight (which I didn’t want to do), and was going to the bathroom all the time. The night before the rehearsal, I scheduled a scrub and massage and hung out at my maid of honor’s house with a bottle of wine. It was exactly what I needed and great to laugh and talk to one of my oldest friends about the excitement ahead.

Do:
Make sure you have someone who knows what they’re doing at the rehearsal. Our priest did not show up—he was delivering last rites to a parishioner—but fortunately the chapel coordinator/cantor led the rehearsal for us, which saved me from a meltdown.

Do:
Tell your bridal attendants ahead of time what you hope the tone for the day will be. I would have felt weirded out if everyone was squealing and crying. I wanted things to feel as normal as possible, in case I got nervous, and my friends were great for this. They reassured me, teased me, and helped me. I’m eternally grateful.

Do:
Eat breakfast and lunch on your wedding day. No fainting at the altar.

Do:
Carve out some peaceful time in the morning. I wanted to start my wedding day on a calm note, so I took a walk and read the New Yorker in the backyard in the sunshine before we went to the salon. I think the day would have been different had I jumped out of bed and started running around right away.

Do:
Make it a priority to enjoy yourself on your wedding day. The bride sets the tone for the entire wedding. If you’re having fun, everyone else will. People told me I looked like I was having a great time. If you’re stressed, it’ll be written all over your face.

Don’t:
Be afraid to ask your salon if they’d be willing to put on your iPod while you get your hair and makeup done. I had a few songs I wanted to hear on the day of my wedding, and I was glad I got to listen to Rufus Wainwright and ABBA while I got ready, like I’d always wanted to do.

Don’t:
Be afraid to give feedback to your beauty consultants. I thought my blush was a little too brown, and we were both happier when she switched to a pinker shade.

Do:
Talk to, smile at, and flirt with your spouse during the ceremony. This is IT! You should have fun and break the formality, within the realms of propriety.

Don’t:
Eat chocolate chip cookies in the limo, unless you have stain-fighters on hand. Trust me on this one.

Do:
Try to make sure you’ll get a few minutes to enjoy the cocktail hour of your reception. You spent all that time deciding on your shrimp boats and mini pizzas. You may only get 15 minutes to enjoy them, but that’s better than nothing.

Don’t:
Be afraid to give your speakers a time limit ahead of time. Your guests will thank you.

Don’t:
Worry about greeting every guest at the wedding. I said hello to my husband’s and my friends and greeted my extended family and parents’ friends when they came up to me. They didn’t seem to take it personally that we didn’t stop by at their tables. We wouldn’t have been able to eat, otherwise!

Don’t:
Worry about the first dance if it isn’t your thing. The idea of taking dance lessons and being under the spotlight for two complete songs sounded like torture to me. My fiance and I picked a song, danced a few bars, my father cut in for a few bars, and then all the guests were invited to join us, so my alone-time on the dance floor was mercifully short.

Do:
Have a pair of comfortable shoes to change into. You can’t “break in” a pair of three-inch heels. Eventually, your feet are going to hurt.

Don’t:
Freak when someone steps on your gown. It’s going to happen. Again. And again. By the end of the evening, if you’re enjoying yourself the way you should be, you won’t give a rat’s ass.

Do:
Ask the caterers ahead of time to set aside a take-home meal for you and your groom. For months, I looked forward to the moment when I could get to our hotel, get out of my gown, and eat my leftovers. I was not disappointed when the big moment finally arrived.

Do:
Thank everyone who isn’t getting paid to help you with your wedding—over and over and over again. It’s an honor for you to have your loved ones surrounding you on your wedding day.

Stephanie and Jonathan Tie the Knot in Raleigh!

"Out of the routine of ordinary life, the extraordinary has happened--Stephanie and Jonathan found one another in, of all places, the streets of New York City!" That is a quote from the wedding ceremony of this wonderful couple. Stephanie was on a trip to NYC when she met Jonathan, one of "NY's Finest" on patrol duty. Seems she stopped him to ask for directions. It must have been a magical meeting because somehow they both knew they were meant to be together! A courtship commenced and finally they decided to marry and set the date for April 4, 2009 at the Bedford Falls Clubhouse in Raleigh. Stephanie met with me last August and we signed a contract and got started on their ceremony. It did not take too long to come up with a beautiful ceremony which fit them both. They will have another ceremony in the Catholic church in NY this summer.

The clubhouse was spacious and we held the ceremony on the deck overlooking the pool. It was nice weather--in the seventies--and NOT raining! It was quite windy at the rehearsal on Friday afternoon but the winds calmed down for Saturday. The sun was shining and the day was almost as beautiful as Stephanie in her gorgeous bridal gown. She was radiant and so happy to be marrying Jonathan. Her daughter, Brie-Ann, was one of our flower girls and I could tell she was happy to have Jonathan for her daddy. They interacted so sweetly. We had 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen, a Matron of Honor (Wendy, Stephanie's sister), and a Best Man. The girls were dressed in lovely latte dresses and the guys had latte vests. Jonathan had a champagne vest. They looked so handsome all spiffed up.

Their friends, Derrick Avery and Dawn Herring (married to each other), were our DJ and photographer. Dawn has just started her own photography business called Ragan Photography and this was her first wedding to shoot. Rocky Top Hospitality, owners of many restaurants in Raleigh including Michael Dean's, Twisted Fork, and Bogart's, catered the reception and catering manager for 1705 Prime, Kevin Dehimer, was on hand to make sure everything went flawlessly. Sure smelled delicious! Their scrumptious cake was by Edible Art and was decorated with calla lilies, Stephanie's theme for the wedding. Her wedding programs were very nice and I believe she did them herself. Great job!

The deck of the clubhouse filled up with their guests and family from Stephanie's hometown of Raleigh and their friends and family from NY. After we had all processed, everyone stood for the bride who was escorted in by her father. He transferred her hand into Jonathan's and I welcomed all the guests--many were from NY and this was their first experience of a "southern style" wedding! The ceremonies I officiate are much more warm and personal than the ones I have heard in the northern states. All the guests were very attentive and they could hear every word I spoke thanks to Derrick who hooked up my microphone to his system. We remembered loved ones who could not be with us and had a simple prayer. We recognized their parents and Brie-Ann and how important she is in this newly joined family. They exchanged vows and rings and while they poured their sand together followed by Brie-Ann adding hers, Jonathan's mother, Maureen, sang The Irish Blessing. She told me she is a cantor with the Catholic Church and she did a great job. Although she did not have a microphone, her voice carried very nicely and those in the back could hear her well. I pronounced Stephanie and Jonathan married and invited Stephanie to kiss her husband--always gets a few chuckles. After the kiss and closing blessing, the happy couple dashed down the aisle--see the photo of Jonathan sticking out his tongue at the camera thrust in front of them! The wedding party and parents proceeded through the clubhouse out onto the emerald green lawn of the bell tower for photos. What a beautiful wedding day!

Scottish Wedding for Mary and Michael at the Raleigh Rose Garden!

Mary called me a couple of weeks ago looking for a minister to officiate her wedding to Michael and a place to have the wedding. She and I met one day last week. She told me that she and Michael had each been married before but they both had been single a long time and were ecstatic to have found each other at long last. Mary is a professional clown. Michael is an IT person and they are both members of historial "re-enactment" groups for fun and it is there they met. I loved hearing the wonderful story of their meeting and falling in love. It sure seems meant to be.

Mary and Michael had already written most of their ceremony. Michael is a descendant of the Robertson clan in Scotland and they wanted to have a wedding with Scottish traditions--the Quaiche (sharing the cup of wine) and the Pinning of the Tartan (the groom or a member of his family pins a rosette of the family tartan on the bride after the pronouncement symbolizing their acceptance of her into their family). Mary took one look at the Raleigh Rose Garden at my suggestion and fell in love with it. So, that was the place and April 2 was the big date. She emailed me her version of the ceremony and I polished it into a complete ceremony to include recognition of their family and friends at the ceremony. We incorporated the Quaiche and the Pinning of the Tartan into the ceremony. They revised their vows using my collection of vows as guidelines. Then we just waited for the day.

The forecast earlier in the week was for a sunny day but alas, it was raining on their wedding day--like so many weddings I have officiated this year. The rain was a fine mist, on and off again. Michael and his son Brandon were waiting for Marty and me when we arrived about 15 minutes before the ceremony start time. Michael was in full Scottish regalia with his kilt of the family tartan and all the accessories! Brandon was draped with the family tartan as well. We gathered in the shelter at the rose garden and waited for the bride and her family. See photo of Mary approaching carefully as the ground was so soft her heels were sinking! We decided to stay under the shelter for the ceremony. I had brought my handy little table to hold the Quaiche cup, the tartan and they added their two cell phones connected to family in California and Washington so they could hear the ceremony.

We began with a warm welcome to all and a prayer. We acknowledged all seven of our guests and the loved ones who were not with us but were listening by phone. After a brief wedding address the couple read their vows to each other. It was so sweet. They were both so happy they cried and had trouble getting the words out but they did it! Then they shared the Quaiche by each drinking to the love they shared in the past, to their love on this their wedding day, and to the love they will share in the future and forevermore! They then exchanged rings and I made the pronouncement of marriage. But before they could kiss, Brandon did the honors of pinning the Tartan on Mary accepting her into their family. Then Michael kissed his wife and Mary kissed her husband. They couldn't stop kissing! It was a great wedding and everyone had a wonderful and tearful time sharing their happiness. Cead mile failte ("one hundred thousand welcomes" in Gaelic) to the wonderful world of marriage, Mary and Michael. I am so happy for you and I wish you all the best in the world!

An Elegant Wedding for Sara and Kevin at the Carolina Inn!

Sara and Kevin planned for their wedding at the Carolina Inn to take place in the Ann Hill Courtyard but the rainy forecast dictated otherwise. So, prudently they opted to have their ceremony in the Hill Ballroom instead. You can never go wrong with a wedding there! It was gorgeous. They hired Kate Foster of Kate Foster Productions for their wedding planner and I know from working with her before, she is on top of every little detail, especially the decor. You see the aisle in the photos? Well, that is not the carpet pattern you see, that is tons of beautiful red, pink, orange and yellow rose petals thickly covering the entire aisle! It was stunning. The guests were escorted in from the sides to prevent the petals from getting scattered before the wedding party processed in.

Chris Ferrer was our very capable photographer and so easy to work with. I have worked with him before and it is always a pleasure. He always asks if I mind flash photography during the ceremony. I don't. Seems that I am so focused on the ceremony I am oblivious to the photographer. It was fairly dark in the ballroom so flash was definitely necessary. He does not mind when Marty steps up with my camera to get a few shots for this blog. Thanks, Chris. A couple of musicians I had never heard of provided wonderful music for the ceremony. These guys, Stephen Murtaugh (guitar, piano) and Brendan Rice (violin), are actually two members of a rock band but on the side, they play for weddings and they are great. They call themselves The Sunday Paper. Marty and I ran into Joe Bunn, DJ, in the Old Well room setting up for the reception. Joe and I work together often and refer weddings to each other. Below is a photo of the two of us today. While we were there we took a look at the huge, beautiful, impressive wedding cake and met Wayne Swank of Swank Cake Design who was setting up the cake with his assistant. He said they baked all day today to get this cake made, delivered, and set up for the reception. I told him I had some of his delicious red velvet cake at a wedding a couple of weeks ago. It was nice to finally meet him.

On with the wedding! Sara's father escorted her in and Sara literally floated down the aisle on top of those petals. Her dress was stunningly beautiful. It was something wonderful. Sara sniffled a few times during the ceremony which Kevin told me later made him nervous and he was afraid she was going to lose it but she was fine! They created a beautiful ceremony that included a contemporary version of First Corinthians. They chose the "I do" style vows so they did not have to worry about speaking too much in front of their guests which numbered close to 200. The rings were exchanged with a few "repeat after me lines" and then we did the sand ceremony. Before the ceremony I had taken a look at the small opening on the central container with funnel nearby and warned Kevin that it would not pour very fast. Someone needs to jiggle the funnel to keep the sand flowing. So wisely they got a little bit of their sand in during the ceremony but did not prolong the ceremony by standing there trying to pour it all in. (After the ceremony we completed the pouring with me jiggling the funnel! That is the photo here which shows the back of Sara's amazing wedding gown. Kate told me later that she should have heeded my warning about getting a container with a large opening!) I pronounced them husband and wife and then invited Kevin to kiss his beautiful wife! We closed with a blessing and introduction of the newlywed couple to their guests--and out we went for photos while the guests proceeded to the reception. The intense part of the whole wedding was over and it was time to party and have fun! Best of everything, Sara and Kevin!