ARE YOU LEGALLY MARRIED, PART TWO 2022

 A new court case in NC illustrates once again that NC does not recognize on line ordained ministers as legitimate officiants for weddings in NC. 

https://www.rhinotimes.com/ask-carolyn/ask-carolyn-dec-5-2022/

Ask Carolyn: Dec. 5, 2022

Carolyn J. Woodruff

Dear Carolyn:

As the holiday season approaches, one of my friends wants me to officiate at their wedding. The friend says this is done all the time. What do you think? Can I be the person to give the vows at my friend’s wedding?

Carolyn Answers:

This “my friend, my wedding officiant” is becoming a popular question and practice. Approximately 43 percent of weddings use a family or friend as an officiant, up 29 percent since 2009 (The Knot). I have been asked about the legality of private wedding officiants several times recently and even had someone ask me to officiate a wedding. My response was, “no.” North Carolina has precise requirements for who can perform a wedding; among those persons are ordained ministers and magistrates.

Hill v. Hill is a 2022 case from the North Carolina Court of Appeals. Linda and Carlyle married in a backyard wedding with an officiant named Moonhawk. Moonhawk had a mail-order reverend certificate from Universal Life Church. She also said she was a Reiki master.  Carlyle filed to annul the marriage after Linda filed domestic violence charges against him. The court ruled the marriage was void, and the Court of Appeals affirmed the voiding of the wedding. While the case is notable for several reasons because Mr. Hill died before all the hearings were completed, the annulment should tell us about friend and family officiants.

There are several ways to handle the fact that the people conducting your wedding are not legally recognized in NC to solemnize marriage. 

 

Option 1: Hire a legally ordained officiant to come to your wedding and make the pronouncement of marriage at the end of the ceremony and handle the signing of the marriage license. Or, that officiant could “co-officiate” your ceremony with your family member. 

 

Option 2: Hire a legally ordained officiant to do a “signing” of the license before or after your ceremony on the wedding day with the two of you and your two witnesses so that the date is the same as your ceremony. No ceremony, just the pronouncement of marriage. Or do a signing on another day prior to the wedding—but the dates would not match up. 

 

Option 3: Go to a county courthouse and get married by a magistrate (county appointed judge) there. You may have to make an appointment. Magistrates marry couples in the courtroom on weekdays during working hours. On weekends some county magistrates will officiate your wedding at a detention center/jail. You can only bring your two witnesses. $50.

Social Security Field Offices Open! Good News for Couples Changing Their Names!

To change your name after marriage, you will need to request and pay for a few Certificates of Marriage from the county Register of Deeds that issued your marriage license. They are $10 each. Some counties allow ordering online but others you must request by mail or go in person. I recommend you get 3 or 4. 

 

To change your name on legal documents, you must start first with the Social Security name change and get a replacement card with your new name on it. DMV and SSA share the same name system so once you have changed your name at SSA, you can go to DMV and get a new license with your new name on it. For Passport you can go ahead and get started on that as soon as you get your marriage certificate. Any changes on licenses that are required for your work, go ahead and send a Certificate of Marriage to the licensing board. 

 

The good news as of June 2022, the Social Security field offices are open again. So you can walk your marriage certificate in in-person and get your name changed that day without going through the download and mail in process that was in effect during COVID. They will not keep the certificate of marriage but need to see it then hand it back to you. (Of course, you can still do the online process if you prefer. *See instructions below.) SSA hours are 9 to 4 weekdays. There are 2 lines and you should get in the one without an appointment. (The guard in Wake County told me that a rep will come get those of you there to change your name on your card so you don’t have to wait so long and if you get there by 3:30, you will be out of there by 4:00.) The Raleigh Social Security office has recently moved from Old Wake Forest Road to 3315 Poole Road. 

 

To change your name on your passport follow these guidelines: https://www.us-passport-service-guide.com/passport-name-change.html You will send in an original Certificate of Marriage with your application, new photo if required, current passport, check for fee. It takes 6 to 8 weeks unless you pay to expedite it. 

 

Once you have started the name change process, you must follow through because if you travel by plane or cruise, all your ID must match. If you are going on a honeymoon right after your wedding, make sure all reservations are in your maiden/current name because you will not have time to complete the name change process until after you return home. 

 

Still an option: 

*Changing your name Online/and mail in instructions for Social Security: 

1.     Download form SS-5 from SSA.gov website. https://www.ssa.gov/forms/ss-5.pdf

2.     Fill it out. Item 1, line 1 should be the new name you want to be on your new SS card. Line 2 shows your former/maiden name, line 3 for any other names you have used. 

3.     Not necessary to fill out Items 9 and 10, the information about your mother and father. 

4.     Don’t forget to sign it! (Make a photocopy for your records)

5.     Supporting documents: It would be a good idea to photocopy your driver’s license or birth certificate as an additional identifying document but not absolutely necessary since the marriage certificate has a lot of information on it and has always been sufficient in the past. Mail the completed SS-5, an original Certificate of Marriage (photocopy not acceptable), any other ID you are submitting, in Wake County mail to: 3315 Poole Road, Raleigh NC 27610.

6.     It may take anywhere between 2 and 4 weeks to get your new card. They will return your original Certificate of Marriage

7.     When you get your new SS card, you can go to DMV and change your name on your driver’s license. Take an original Certificate of Marriage with you. They are paperless and won’t keep it but they have to see it. 

 

Here is a link to the SSA blog that explains the process: https://blog.ssa.gov/need-to-change-your-name-on-your-social-security-card/