Leigh and Jared Get Married at the Doris Duke Center at Duke Gardens!

Leigh and Jared were so fabulous to work with and so dedicated to each other. They knew exactly what they wanted for their wedding and together we made it happen. Their wedding was at the Doris Duke Visitor Center on December 28th, 2019. I met with them on June 28th to begin working on the ceremony. Jared came from New Jersey and Leigh from Winston-Salem to meet with me. 

December 28th turned out to be a very nice day. Balmy and bright. When Dave and I arrived, the chairs were in position and the arbor by Bowerbird Flowers was ready. There was a tent with clear walls over the outer half of the terrace.

After getting the witnesses signatures on the license, I sat down to review the ceremony script. 

The arbor framing the "altar" was on the walk to the amphitheater and White Garden. It was too risky to plan for an outdoor wedding in December, but as it turned out, it would have been possible.

Ronnie was our DJ from The Pros. His assistant is there to help too. 

Inside the Center the tables are all set for the reception. The Catering Company of Chapel Hill catered.

Many guests have arrived and they are at the other end where the bar was serving drinks. 

Happily, Leigh and Jared hired Emily Thomas with Emily Katherine Events as their wedding coordinator at my suggestion. Neither of them lived locally so it was good to have Emily be the local go-to person.

The DJ announced that it was time to for the guests to take their seats for the ceremony. 

After the seating of the parents, on cue, Jared and our groomsmen and I processed in from the side door. 

The groomsmen are Alex and Derek (Jared's sons).

Lauren and Cameron  (Leigh's daughters) processed in side by side. 

Leigh was escorted in by her father Hank and son Ryan who stopped at the first row where the parents were standing. After the music faded I said: "I ask you, their parents and their children, will you bless Leigh and Jared in their marriage? Will you celebrate them in their times of joy, and support them and their marriage in times of hardship?" Of course they all answered "We will." 

Leigh handed off her bouquet, she and Jared faced each other and so the ceremony began. 

First there was a welcome to all who were there. Then a prayer. 

Then I stepped forth and addressed their parents and paid tribute to them for their love and support of Leigh and Jared. I then addressed their siblings thanking them for their love and support too.

The next part of the ceremony was to recognize the couple's children and tell them how important they are in this marriage we celebrate today.

And then it was time to tell the story of Leigh and Jared and their journey to this wedding day! My favorite part!

Leigh and Jared met at Duke University when they were both freshmen there in 1987. They were smitten with each other and dated for about 3 years and then parted ways for some reason neither of them can now remember. They lived their separate lives, developed their careers and raised their families for the next 20 or so years. As fate would have it, they eventually found themselves single after all these years and the memories of their earlier love of each other flooded back. They got in touch and  decided to  get re-acquainted by phone and email. It was almost a year before they saw each other and it looked worthwhile to continue this long distance relationship to see what might happen. And despite nearly universal skepticism that this relationship would survive, they are pleased  that they have beat the odds!  According to Jared, he's won the lottery! Jared proposed on a trip to Galapagos Island in 2018 with all their kids and everyone celebrated and the wedding planning began.

Now Leigh gets to hear what Jared told me he in confidence loves about her, why he wants to marry her and what he is looking forward to in marriage.

Then Jared gets to hear what Leigh told me about him. 

These two have a great sense of humor so there was lots of laughter! 

Our guests were having fun hearing all this. Their guests came from all the many areas of their lives past and present including some who were with them in college.

Then I asked them their vows and they exchanged rings. 

Jared told me after the wedding that he had been a nervous wreck and was trying really hard not to break down into tears. Awww!

After a closing blessing, I had the great privilege of pronouncing these two married!

Their first kiss as husband and wife--at long last! Oh happy days! 

Jared and Leigh! So wonderful to work with you and make your ceremony be every thing you dreamed of. I loved your wedding and wish you all the best forever!

Thank you for these wonderful words about me: "Jared and I want to thank Kayelily for an incredible wedding ceremony. We cannot tell you how many people told us how beautiful it was, and many said it was the most special they had ever seen - So personal and lovely... And so well-delivered, with the perfect combination of sentiment and humor. We were laughing through tears. So many thanks for her talents and efforts on our behalf! "

Francesca and Jeff's Wedding 20 Years Ago!

Today, April 30, 2020, I opened my email to find this heart-warming message: 

Dear Kayelily:

First of all, I hope that you and yours are doing well during this dreadful pandemic outbreak and that you are both safe and healthy. I am reaching out to you because yesterday, April 29, 2020, my husband, Jeff Eischen, and I celebrated our 20^thwedding anniversary. Yes, twenty years ago, you officiated our wedding! This was the beginning of quite a journey for our blended family (both Jeff and I had 7 year old boys), filled with a great many highs and some inevitable lows. However, I am happy to report that  we have transcended the test of time so far and have felt deeply grateful for one another and the life we have built. Our boys are now nearly 28 years old and consider themselves brothers. Greg, my son, is a medical resident at Duke hospital, and Christopher, Jeff’s son, is a senior financial consultant with Deloitte in Charlotte. I have attached three photos of our beautiful wedding ceremony in Cary, NC. Also, below I am attaching the social media post that I circulated yesterday:

Many thought that we should never have married. Yet we still plunged into the madness of a two career blended family with overwhelming naïveté. The struggles and trials of the first four years nearly made us walk away, but we persisted and gradually we got better. Then, in the blink of an eye, 20 years have passed —our two successful boys are all grown up (and still come home for a home cooked meal and a hug now and then), we look ahead to winding down careers, and grapple with the sorrow of aging parents. Undeterred, however, we continue to seek and find new adventures and future challenges together, proving that indeed the true joy in marriage lies in the journey, not the destination. Happy 20th anniversary to *us* Jeff Eischen—full steam ahead 💕

 — with Jeff Eischen.

I wanted to share this with you as a heartfelt  thank you for being there at the start and for blessing our marriage and our fledgling family that at some level was woefully unprepared for what was to come. I believe that you made a  big difference in our success.

With much appreciation and warm regards,

Francesca Florey Eischen (and family)

It is moments like this that make my work with couples so rewarding and why I keep on going. I remember Francesca and Jeff's wedding vividly. It was at a private home tucked back in the woods in Cary with a steep incline in the driveway. Marty and I arrived just behind the truck delivering their wedding cake and we held our breaths watching to see if the cake was going to slide off the truck! Wonder of wonders, it arrived intact. 

Francesca and Jeff wanted to honor their two boys in the ceremony and this was my first time including a blessing for the children of a blended family in the ceremony. We put together these words and I am still using this blessing as an example for couples 20 years later:

"As part of the family nature of marriage, we recognize Gregory and Christopher and the very important role that they play in this relationship celebrated today.  

Christopher and Gregory, Francesca and Jeff want you to know that you are very much part of their relationship and loved and appreciated for your own unique selves. Their marriage will enrich your lives because your interests will always be considered and your needs honored. As a token of their promise to you they have brought special medallions to give to you today to represent their commitment to you. Treasure your medallion as a symbol that you are included in their thoughts and prayers always."

And now those boys are young men finding their way in the world having had effective parenting from their parent and stepparent. 

Francesca and Jeff--thank you for remembering me and giving me the honor of joining you in marriage and this tribute 20 years later! You have done all the hard work in the past 20 years making your relationship work and being role models for Christopher and Gregory. Congratulations! Sending love and many many blessings for another 20 plus years together!

Rebecca and Andy's Wonderful Wedding at the Brick & Mortar!

This was my first wedding at Brick & Mortar Events in downtown Clayton. It was an amazing place too. The downstairs is open space then there is a loft that wraps around 3 sides of the room.

Rebecca and Andy chose December 8, 2019 for their wedding date and invited a lot of guests. When I arrived the table with the Family Unity Sand Ceremony was set up in front of a drape with Christmas decorations. The cake table was also up front. 

"Together we make a Family" is on the shadowbox container that the couple and their children will pour the sand into during the ceremony. 

When I arrive for a wedding, the first thing I do is work with the DJ to get the sound just right for the ceremony. The couple and I have worked hard to create a wonderful heartwarming ceremony and it is important that everyone can hear. Our DJ was Harvey of DJHarvNation ENT. We were having some issue with the transmitter but we got it to work.

This lovely cake was baked by I Do Cakes NC. 

This is the view of the room from the front door. Directly ahead is the bar. The DJ was to the left. 

I went up to the loft to find my first witness to sign the marriage license. 

The tables were all set for the reception and during the ceremony the overflow crowd went up on the loft.

Everything is ready for the guests! 

The chairs downstairs started filling in. 

Pam Morgan was our Wedding Director and she kept things organized and flowing on time. 

I entered when it was time to begin and made the unplugged announcement requesting guests to put away their cell phones and cameras and truly be present with Rebecca and Andy. Aimee Sue, our professional photographer, is up front with me ready to capture the processional.

The grandmothers were escorted in first, then the parents. 

The bridesmaids were next. One by one. 

Morgan our maid of honor was the last before the bride. 

I invited the guests to stand for the bride. 

Rebecca was escorted in by her grandfather, Frank! 

He transferred Rebecca's hand into Andy's hand then the guests were seated as the couple turned and faced each other.

Morgan straightens Rebecca's train as I welcomed everyone followed by an opening prayer. 

Rebecca's children, Madison and Hayden, came forward for the Children's Blessing. Andy reads from my book to them--words telling them how much he loves their mother and them and that he is so happy they become one big family this day. (In this picture you can see the pretty bouquets made by Flowers by the Neuse.) 

After the children's blessing, I had the pleasure of telling the story of Rebecca and Andy. I usually say how destiny causes their paths to cross. Well, Rebecca and Andy's paths crossed twice because the first time the timing was apparently not right. The second time 10 years later, appreciating their good fortune, they were determined to make it work and they were very successful. A very good match for each other.

At this point they each got to hear what the other had told me they love about each other. So sweet. 

They make their vows to each other. 

Then they exchanged rings. 

Now for the pouring of the sand. Rebecca and Andy pour in half of each of theirs. 

Then Madison and Hayden took turns pouring in all of theirs. 

Rebecca and Andy blended the rest of their sand together as they poured it in. 

A closing blessing for our couple.

Then the big moment of the pronouncement of marriage. I invited them to celebrate with a kiss!

Their first kiss as husband and wife! 

Wow! We are married! I signaled Morgan to hand the bouquet to Rebecca then I introduced them to their happy guests!

Rebecca and Andy! Congratulations! It was a fabulous wedding and I loved joining you in marriage and working with you to create your amazing ceremony. I wish you all the best!!